If the partner was to be erased from your memory in this case so would the cafe chain dates and any people that you met at that location with them. For example, your ex-partner would regularly meet you for a coffee at a certain cafe. When you think about how memories and made and linked together it makes sense that this can’t happen. In reality, traumatic memories can’t selectively be erased when it comes to situations like ex-partners or friends. They want the painful memories to be erased and they want their personal trauma to stop. So what do you do? Well from my experience a number of people ring a clinical hypnotherapist and ask them for help to move on with their life. Some people feel this pain and experience negative physical reactions associated with the older memories sometimes years after a break-up. So you are crying or upset every day because you either miss them so much or you know that you should move on but you can’t. Or alternatively, your current and future relationships are being negatively impacted by your unhelpful dwelling on the past. You worry that you will never find another relationship like that again. You may have painful memories associated with that person or the breakup is giving you negative feelings. You may have spent a few years with a partner and for whatever reason, the relationship went wrong and you can’t stop thinking about that person. A typical one that I get asked is whether hypnosis to forget an ex works? Let’s start with hypnosis to forget unhappy memories involving certain individuals or situations that you may have experienced. ![]() So can this be done? Hypnosis to Forget Memories They want what I would call forget bad memories hypnosis. They have experienced a bad situation with a partner or been in a traumatic situation and they want someone to come along and totally wipe those thoughts from their memory. Private clients want something totally different. This is a great skill which is often used by stage hypnotists. Most hypnotherapists are interested because there are certain hypnotic techniques that can be used on people to make them forget to say certain numbers. If you are a hypnotherapist you will look at this from one angle and if you are a client from a completely different viewpoint. ![]() But, with practice, we can learn to reformat painful memories in healthier ways.Hypnosis to forget a memory or erase certain thoughts from your mind is always an interesting topic. It is easier perhaps because of “ negativity bias” to focus on the "bad" because we may assign more importance and weight to it. Practice and be " mindful" of how you move through future recall of events.Find the other side and remember it every time a painful memory attempts to reconsolidate itself. There are two sides to every experience, just as there are to the emotions we express as humans. Find meaning through a "creative focus" on perhaps how you have learned to live life better, what positive things have become important elements for you since that time, or journal examples of how your former fixed identity learned to grow and adapt. If the memory is a hard one for you, re-orient your focus to the exceptions to the experience such as the meaning found by the Vietnam veteran's recall of the bond he and his comrades shared.By engaging your senses, you can also interrupt thoughts immediately. ![]() You can also splash your face with cold water, wash your hands, smell a scented candle, etc. The word STOP is deeply symbolic and we know from early childhood the word carries force. When a painful memory occurs, say the word “STOP” as a way to distract from the emotion-fueled aspect of the memory. ![]() Memory of a Green Slipper How to Challenge a Painful Memory
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